Random Acts of Kindness

Random Acts of Kindness

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By Tina M. Clark

Random acts of kindness are things we do for others for no other reason than to be kind, helpful and nice! They are best done with no fan fair and no praise is needed nor expected.

The first time I ever heard of such a thing was from my neighbor, Jodi. We were talking one day not to long ago and she told me of an experience that she called “Random Acts of Kindness”.

Many of us will go out of our way for family or a good friend. It seems more and more in our rush rush dash to get everything done we neglect to show kindness to ourselves much less strangers. (ie road rage, flipping off people or honking long and loud when someone sits at a green light, etc)

If a friend or relative got sick we might be willing to go to their house take soup or cookies, maybe even water or feed their plants or animals while they were gone. We know then, we feel generous and we are in our comfort zone. We know they will appreciate it and do the same in kind when we need them, right!?

This is RANDOM ACTS, I am speaking of here. You do it not knowing the person or expecting Thank you’s or praises. If given you don’t stick around and gloat in the attention but say thank you and move on.

It shouldn’t be planned, and you should try not to be found out.

For instance;

You are in the bank waiting to make a transaction. An older person comes in not real steady on their feet and you let them take your place and move to the back of the line. Or you just give someone you spot just out of kindness because they have their hands really full, or just simply to be nice.

You are waiting for a parking place up close and it is about to become available.Then you see a woman with a small child also looking or maybe the handicap spots are taken up and you allow a handicaped person to have your nice close spot. It might mean that you have to make a few more circles around the lot, but what did it hurt?

Your co-worker is having a really bad day. You go at break and bring them back something with out them asking. Or you pick up a flower during lunch break and place it on their desk.(Don’t expect any money for the offering)

You can leave a batch of homemade cookies and a small note saying; Have a nice day, welcome to the neighborhood, hope you feel better soon, Or leave a card.

The whole point is to help others and to share a smile, assist someone with a hard day or just be nice for once. It hurts you not at all and will actually make you feel better! I have found that through these random acts, even when I am having a bad day that somehow I feel better inside just in the doing.

I challenge you to find your own kind of Random Acts and put them in force if not everday at least once in awhile. Watch how it brightens someone else’s day. Watch how you feel just a little lighter too!

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Life Changing Kindness

We often spend so much time and energy being kind to others, that we forget that kindness is like a Boomerang, it will always come back to you, many times when you are not ready or willing to receive. When we received this story submission for our new book, we all thought that it needed to go onto the website right away. It’s a heart warming story that will re-affirm your belief in mankind and in the power of kindness.

Well, I suppose my story is not so very different or special from what others may share, but the impact on me – and for me – and to me – at one point taxed satisfactory verbal description.

The enormity of the kindness that I received can now best be described as life-changing. You see, for most of my life, at least as far back as I can remember anyway, I have been The Giver, The Fixer, The Caretaker, believing I had this responsibility for everyone else, that I owed this somehow, and as a result of this misplaced guilt or self-imposed duty, would make the choices and changes for others, often at my own detriment. But, no matter and not to worry, God’s blessings always seem to come to me and I managed to survive and even thrive.

To live in such a way I know now is exhausting and unhealthy, believing as I did that I was not deserving of the same kindnesses – oh my no! Tom doesn’t need any help, I have a way that works for me.

Being diagnosed with liposarcoma, thought for years to be a benign lipoma resting along my cervical spine, nearly ruined my reputation! What?! Tom is SICK? How?! What will people think! No one can know.

All of a sudden, I couldn’t hardly function, let alone take care of myself or anyone else. Did I surrender, ask for help, reach out?

No. I didn’t keep it a secret, and wondered why at the time.

I soldiered on and suffered and refused assistance until one afternoon when an angel sternly yet kindly said to me: “Tom, we don’t know what to do for you, people want to help, we’re terrified for you, please don’t take their joy away by refusing!”

I was thunderstruck, crying even, at the sheer simple beauty of these words. I began to accept the random, deliberate, and caring little ways from others, and my load was lifted. People rushed to do what they could – rides to the hospital for radiation therapy, rides to and from work, coffee and water brought to me, food, whatever. I began to see the synergy and power within such kind acts, and saw the world very differently.

Yes, I was weaker, sick, needy, and to allow others to see this was itself akin to bringing down the walls of Troy. And then another miracle from my boss who finds it very difficult to speak of anything serious, intimate or painful; he said “Tom I need you to be here, and you need to be here, we all need you too much maybe, but I don’t want you coming in if you are sick or unwell because you are worried about the money.”

I had no leave left, and my paychecks were half of what they had been owing to my frequent absences. He published a regional and then a national leave donation request that brought over 240 hours to my “leave bank,” thereby allowing me to continue to work a reduced tour, or to stay out a day or two, but having an 80 hour paycheck every two weeks.

The rules prohibit me knowing who gave what, and that frustrated me for a time, but now I am calm in the knowledge that I deserved this extraordinary help, and that I am battling cancer in order to finally learn some basic Life Lessons.

Yes, it took this dramatic and frightening diagnosis to get me to understand that it is OK to need help, that it is OK to ask for help, and that it is OK to accept help, and maybe even downright rude to refuse it!

Healing I believe, began that afternoon when that angel scolded me into that first step toward accepting my own mortality and frailty.

One Kind Act from just one person makes a difference we can never fully appreciate or know. Oh sure, in the moment we do, but what we then do pays this One Kind Act forward forever!

T.F.
Philadelphia, Pa

Reflections on Kindness

Reflections on Kindness

Random acts of kindness are a wonderful way to reach across time and space to touch the life of another being. Publicizing and raising awareness of the significance of human kindness undoubtedly makes the world a better place. At every step along the path of expanding awareness there is the opportunity to go deeper; to explore more of the potential of our divine humanness. So it is with kindness. Acts of kindness are really not difficult. An intention is formed, and you carry it out. It makes you feel good. Holding kindness and compassion in our hearts, and integrating them into the complexity and stresses of daily life, every day -- now there is a deep challenge!

Parents can learn to discipline kindly, remaining firm, yet doing so with love and warmth. Teachers can learn to remain patient and forgiving, no matter how frustrated they might feel with a particular student. Employees can choose to cooperate and remain positive about employers, rather than going into polarity. They can preserve their integrity, leaving the job if they must. Employers can honor the individuality and dignity of each staff member, placing the significance of the human over the material. Men and women can choose to focus on what is beautiful and special about the opposite sex, rather than battling for superiority. Children can learn to let everyone play, rather than setting up exclusive games. We can all begin to celebrate adolescence and help teens to feel proud of themselves, rather than raising our eyebrows in disgust. Teenagers can learn to be patient with and accepting of adults in spite of our limitations, instead of raising their eyebrows in disgust. Drivers can realize that there is enough road to share, and time to get there.

Allowing a spirit of kindness to permeate our collective lives would be a quantum leap, from an evolutionary standpoint. Eliminating meanness, pettiness, gossip, criticism, judgement, polarity, and blame would be a superb act of kindness. It is also a fundamental step along any spiritual path. Those negative qualities reflect a very dense, heavy energy, vested solidly in ego, and they block the light of the spirit. Random acts of kindness amidst the darker energies are certainly a positive start. We can do more. Much more. We can resolve to be kinder, gentler beings. All day, every day. We can treat those closest to us with the same respect and politeness that we reserve for friends and colleagues. We can refuse to litter the lives of others with negative energy. If we do this, we will be doing our part to create a world in which kindness is never a random act, but rather a way of life.

Gwen Randall-Young is a psychotherapist who bridges the worlds of psychology and spirituality, and the author of several books and audio tapes. grandall@telusplanet.net You can also visit her website at http://www.intouchmag.com/33kindnessstories2.html Copyright © 1998 by Rebecca Ryan Resources