by Matt Hatson
Belief is a powerful tool. What we believe frames our every behaviour. Noel Edmunds believes in this cosmic ordering business and this affects every choice he makes. It may not work for me but I say whatever gets you out of bed has the basics of a good belief.
An interesting view of the world can be taken by believing that every behaviour has a positive intent. That is - people do what they do because they hope that in doing so will generate good feelings in them. I remember this great episode of Friends where Joey challenges Phoebe to perform a selfless act. She tries all kinds of stuff but concludes that there isn’t such a thing as a selfless act because an apparent selfless act makes you feel good due to it’s apparent selflessness. So if that’s a case it would seem that this belief is one that holds at least some water, so let’s go with it and just pretend that it’s true. Personally I love feeling good and actively pursue things and actions that give me more of those good feelings.
However, if everyone is doing stuff to make them feel good - in the infinite possibilities of the universe it is likely that people occasionally do stuff in the pursuit of their happiness that actually hampers your own personal quest.
Normally we consider those people to be bad - because they have annoyed us, cost us time or money. Consider the overbearing boss who is forever bugging you - or the friend who seems to put a downer on your good ideas... Well they are likely doing that to make themselves feel better. Ok so that activity might be misguided, however if you can see their actions from that perspective then perhaps their traits and activities are a little easier to take, and perhaps those actions won’t bug you so much. An interesting thought.
And another interesting idea is what happens when you do something that makes other people happy? Well I wonder whether the feeling you get is TEN TIMES the feeling you get when you just do something that makes YOU feel good? Remember the look on a friend’s face when you put yourself out for them, and remember how great it made you feel? How about the last time you let someone pull out of a junction? Or holding a door open for someone with armfuls of shopping. If you can’t remember a feeling - notice it next time you do something for someone - pay attention to that good feeling and hold on to it.
So imagine how great it feels to do that thing for someone else, and how the smallest things can make people feel better. Whether it’s an email to a friend telling them how great they are, or holding the door open for someone in a supermarket - all of these things have a positive intent at some level in your neurology which is amplified if it makes someone else feel good.
So why not find a moment tomorrow to do something for someone and feel at some level how great it feels. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture - just something good for someone else. You might feel a sense of peace, or perhaps happiness, or something entirely new that you’ve never noticed before. The important fact is that you will feel something - there’s no selfless act, and that feeling that you feel with that One Kind Act is surely something you want more and more of in your life because it’s the reason that we do everything if you believe that every behaviour has a positive intent, and in my experience it absolutely does. If all of this leaves you cold, hey that’s ok, whatever works for you is fine, and I’d love to hear your views.
About the Author:
Matt Hatson is a member of the One Kind Act team and is very passionate about changing the world. He resides in the U.K. where by day he is a highly respected and sought-after Business Advisor. In his spare time he studies and practices human potential, which is another one of his passions.
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